How to Deal With Neurotic, Compulsive, Difficult People at Work, at Home, and in Yourself - Part 1

• Can you imagine how your life would improve if you genuinely got along with and understood your teenagers and coworkers?
• Can you imagine the peace in your household and workplace if you had the power to transform arguments into discussions?
• Can you imagine how much more productive your life and the life of those around you would be if you knew how to communicate with them so that you actually heard one another?

Can you imagine what your environment would be like if peopl worked with you in a spirit of cooperation? THIS IS YOUR LUCKY DAY!STOP IMAGINING AND START MAKING IT HAPPEN. The key is understanding others and yourself through the Enneagram-the ancient system of personality profiling that places people into one of nine categories, based on what negatively motivates them to act.This is the first in a series of Enneagram scenarios and discussions designed to help you identify the personality type of your children, and interact with them accordingly. Of course it's important to figure out your own type as well, as we go along.By the time you've read the entire series of articles, you'll know much more about yourself, and about those wonderful people with whom you work and live.And I guarantee you'll be making changes in how you communicate with people-you'll understand others and yourself much better, and you'll be more successful in getting the behavioral results you want from other people.(And you just may make a few behavioral changes in yourself as well.) Let's start at the beginning-a very fine place to start.... Does your "challenging person" consistently and predictably demand such a high standard of perfection that he/she is almost doomed to fail-and so is anyone else who tries to meet those standards?

• This person appears to be driven by the need to be perfect.
• This person never wants to show anger.
• You will soon be silently calling this person a ONE.

Ones feel COMPELLED to be perfect.

They are always in emotional and situational control. Their essence is their perfection. Imperfection (especially "emotional imperfection") causes them to lose the sense of who they are. They will frequently use phrases such as "I want this done perfectly" or "That's not how it's supposed to be." They know they are perfectionists, and will frequently identify themselves as such.Expect their rooms to be neat and orderly, their work stations to be neat and orderly, their closets to be neat and orderly and their physical appearance to be neat and orderly.Not only do ones wantthings done right, they want others to do them right as well.They are always controlled, and try to control emotions, because to lose control emotionally shows a lack of personal perfection. At their best Ones are honest, fair, dependable and accountable people who encourage growth and change in those around them. However... Their need to be perfect is their gift and their curse Affirmations for Category One- If your son or daughter would answer YES to 20 of these-the odds are that child is a ONE

1.Things are seldom gray; they are good or bad, right or wrong.
2.People just don't put enough effort into doing things correctly.
3.I read self-help and self-improvement books but I already know most of it.
4.Most people waste too much time.
5.I try to be very orderly and organized.
6.People don't try hard enough to improve themselves.
7.There's usually not enough time to do it, much less do it right.
8.Worries plague most of my thoughts.
9.My word is my bond.

10.I am always punctual, and bothered when others are not.
11.There is no reason for people to use incorrect grammar or spelling.
12.IfI'm not perfect, I fear I won't be loved.
13.If everything is not done perfectly, the entire event will be ruined for me.
14.A place for everything and everything in its place comes naturally to me.
15.With me, honesty is more than a virtue; it is a compulsion.
16.I analyze the cost and value of purchases
17.I try always to be fair, and expect the same of others.
18.Spontaneity offends my need to plan and organize.
19.I am often seen as too serious.
20.I see myself as disciplined, practical, and reliable.
21.I secretly fear criticism by others.
22.Time is precious and not to be wasted.
23.In social settings, I can be amusing, but not silly.
24.I rarely over-indulge in anything.
25.People seldom meet my expectations of them.

Have you already found your "special person"?If so, NOW WHAT?How do you deal with such a personality type?We'll discuss that in the tenth article, after we go through the other eight Enneagram possibilities.Perhaps you've found yourself? Next in the series-Category Two-The Saint.

Check out my YouTube channel at: http://www.youtube.com/user/PowerDiversity In 10 minutes you could have some new tools to help you deal with difficult people.

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