How to Deal With Difficult People

We all hear from others... (if not from our own voice) people say "what I should have said was....." As we go about in everyday life the situation arises where "person A" is challenged by "person "B, whether it be a boss, partner, children, friend or even a shop keeper and without even realising what has happened, person A gets "emotionally hijacked" locks up and becomes unable to say what we want to say to express themselves. The challenge could be anything from a look of disdain to physical violence.

This 'hijacking' happens when person B triggers of a reaction within person A and when this happens person A can be consumed with doubt, in many cases to much doubt for them to concentrate on what they really wanted to say. We can liken this to a fuse wire in a plug, if the fuse breaks we lose power. At some part in our lives (unless we are trained very well in confrontation) most people if not everybody has experienced this and this situation will continue to happen unless the belief which is creating it is observed, because even Einstein said "if you always do what you have always done you will always get what you have always got"

How to change the belief
Our beliefs have been formed over many years of psychological impressions from watching our parents, teachers and others, we are in that case an accumulation of what we have observed and copied from others. This, in NLP is called modelling and is a natural pattern we have as young children and would work perfectly if "all" the people we observe when we are young are balanced and self secure.

There are many methods to overcome 'hijacking' and here is one of them

1. Become aware of the feeling inside when it happens and write it down, feeling sick or wanting to run away
2. Write down all the people who have caused this same reaction in your past and notice what they all have in common personality wise
3. Look at what it is that you are reacting to, physical intimidation or fear of rejection?
4. Ask yourself "am I really in danger" or am I reacting from possible past memories?
5. In privacy, replay the situations again and again in your head and become like a Sherlock Holmes looking for clues and evidence that you reaction is "just an old reaction"
6. When in the next similar situation be ready to catch your thoughts, once it has been caught (if the hijack isn't too powerful) the fear will reduce. Awareness is the key!

The author of this Article is a Paul Ryder who is a UK based emotional intelligence, coach, personal trainer and author and is the director of Future Mind Training. To find out further information on the standard of coaching please visit the home page http://www.futuremindtraining.com and browse the site for free information and personal development downloads.

Or for further inforamtion on wealth creation strategies and powerful internet marketing information to grow business visit http://www.succesfuprosperity.com

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